i’m so fat i can’t even look at pictures of myself..i don’t recognize me, it’s like i see someone else in the mirror, it cannot be me..i don’t feel me anymore..

1 week ago  /  0 notes

Update

My mind will never recover.
I feel like i pleased everyone else with gaining weight and right now i feel disgusting.i’m not happy like that, this ”healthy weight” is making me sad, aggressive, and rude to everyone and everything around me.
I rarely go out of the house, i close my eyes while taking a bath to avoid looking at my body, i have dreams about food and being thin, i wear winter clothes even if it’s 25 degrees outside just to cover my body, i cry every time i realize that my size 0 trousers don’t fit me anymore, i don’t want to have sex and mainly, i’m more suicidal than ever.
Every day since i started trying to recover, i wake up without any motivation to live.I cannot handle this anymore.I’ve reached a point where i want to die from it than live more and be as miserable as i am now..

1 month ago  /  1 note